‘It Was Very Upsetting’: How a Mum Helped Her 5-YO Cope With Changing Schools & Leaving Friends Behind

For a five-year-old, changing schools can mean more than walking into a new classroom or learning a different routine. It can also mean leaving behind familiar faces, favourite teachers and friends who have been part of their everyday lives.

Four months after her daughter moved to a new school, Shivani Tyagi decided to revisit the experience with a simple question: “When we changed your school, how did you feel?”

Her daughter’s answer caught her attention. “It was very upsetting,” she said, explaining that the hardest part was leaving her friends behind. She hadn't wanted to do that.

Rather than brushing aside the response or reassuring her that everything was fine, Shivani chose to listen and ask her daughter more about how she had managed the change.

Making room for difficult feelings

Shivani, a certified nutritionist, parent coach and NLP coach, believes that children do not always express what they are feeling immediately. Sometimes, they need time, reassurance and a comfortable space to put their emotions into words.

Her daughter had settled into the new school, made friends and appeared to be adjusting well. But Shivani wanted to understand what the transition had felt like from her daughter's perspective.

When she asked how she had managed the move despite finding it upsetting, her daughter explained that she was willing to try. Having the space to express what she was feeling made it easier for her to navigate the change.

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For Shivani, that was a moment of pride. She was happy to see her daughter acknowledge that something had been difficult while still finding the courage to give a new environment a chance.

She also understood that making new friends did not mean forgetting the old ones. They could still stay in touch with their previous classmates while gradually building new friendships.

Keep asking, even after they seem settled

School transitions can bring a mix of emotions for young children. Excitement about a new classroom may exist alongside sadness about leaving familiar surroundings. And just because a child appears comfortable after a few weeks does not necessarily mean they have processed everything.

This is why Shivani makes it a habit to have open conversations with her daughter about everyday experiences, whether big or small.

For parents navigating a similar transition, the approach need not be complicated. A simple conversation over dinner, during a bedtime routine or on the way back from school can create an opportunity for children to share what is on their minds.

Instead of immediately offering solutions, parents can begin by asking what they miss, what they enjoy about the new school or whether anything has been difficult.

The idea is not to have all the answers but to let children know that their feelings are welcome.

Sometimes, a child does not need to be told that everything will be fine. They simply need to know that they can talk about what isn't.

All images courtesy of Shivani Tyagi

Source:

'Helping Kids Handle Change at School' by PBS Kids, Published on 11 January 2022.